Saturday, 1 November 2008


I didn't think it would be worth having a 30th birthday bash unless it was done in style. These days, what we lack in the ability to stay awake for days on end, fueled by cheap alcohol and excitement,  we make up for in sheer fabulousness (and the luxury of being able to afford a bottle of wine over the £2.99 mark.)  That said, the world is apparently falling apart at the seams out there and one needs to be prudent.  Gone are the days when inviting all your mates to a cocktail bar, where they will ultimately end up buying hundred quid rounds and starving for a week to compensate, is welcomed as a good idea. Come to think of it, it was always a crap idea and probably won't be missed anyway. 

 I must admit my inner socialist is loving every minute of this apparent financial and ideological shake up. I'll go into why as soon as I finish reading Das Kapital on my big leather sofa with a glass of champagne..  Anyway, I thought an old style house party was the appropriate thing to do under the circumstances.  My friends are a creative bunch so I decided to go with the theme "Comrade or Capitalist" and leave the rest up to them. I wasn't disappointed.

Here a real life painter Emma, or should I say Frida, shows her solidarity with our communist brothers and sisters. I pose with her as a rather tarty "Russian Proletariat" 

Above Trotsky (aka Becca) pretends not to be eyeing up Frida's impressive painted plaster cast bodice.  We all know what you are thinking Trotsky.  Below the plaster cast bodice in its full hand painted  glory.  The artist spent most of the afternoon on her fabulous masterpiece. 

This dashing chap above known as "Dave" has not let the irony of the theme pass him by. No, he has harnessed it to good effect with an outfit I call "Capitalising on Communism." I'm not sure what he calls it but I like it.  I wish to thank Dave for this wry axiom and for being the first person to arrive and last person to leave the party. Well done Comrade. 

This is Comrade Trotsky again above.  I was VERY impressed with this look. Especially the moustache.  Below this Oil Man, known to other capitalists as Charlie, shows off his facial hair.  Yours may be more expensive but Trotsky's is bigger Dear Comrade.

Below Che Guevara (aka Luca) shows his communist colours with a proud smile. He's been eyeing up the table football and fancies challenging the capitalists to a match. 

Ms Kahlo continues to look fabulous throughout the night and appears to be enjoying her white russian cocktail. (vodka, kahlua, milk on ice.) She even queues patiently for bread and makes no mention of her paintings or injuries all evening.  At one point I see her chatting happily to a pair of hanged bankers and a lady wearing a $2800  price tag on her clothes.

According to Marx, capitalism will inevitably lead to disaster when capital is centralised in large corporations, eventually causing the demise of the middle classes.  In other words "the rich get richer and the poor get poorer." I'm not sure about the demise of the middle classes but this fine fellow below, known  as "Rich" (!) to his friends, arrived with a dapper entourage of free market ideologists all bearing chilled champagne.

Contrary to the stereotype of the miserly capitalist these real life bankers were very generous with the fizzy stuff. They could be seen openly mixing with communists and even offering them a "top up."

On the table footy however communism and capitalism battle it out tooth and nail.

As the evening evolved I began to discover more about various comrades. One ally, known variously as W.I.Z, Andrew or Johnny, if you please, had grown his facial hair to a precise communist length and wore genuine Spanish period clothing. The result, as ever, was rather fetching and divine. 

At one point Comrade Dave was photographing comrade Wiz photographing me. It was very postmodern but not at all bourgeois bohemian. 

Above this Sister of Socialism Mita De takes the theme to its  abstract and thoughtful  conclusion with her "worker bee" interpretation. Top marks for thinking outside the box Comrade.

A lady of untold beauty known as Constance, who has appeared in some of my films, shows a remarkable socialist profile.

Meanwhile, determined to attract the attention of the Oil Man, I transform myself into GOLD for the latter half of the soiree.  There's nothing like the power of pure ore to grab a prospector's  interest.

As you can see this works a treat and the Oil Man is lost for words. 

All in all the night was a success. Thanks to all Comrades and Capitalists who came, dressed up, dressed down, poured top ups,  created a scene and generally made it so much fun. More pictures to follow on flickr soon.  Feel free to send me pics too if you have some. 


2 oz vodka
2 oz lime juice
8 oz ginger ale

Mix ingredients in a highball glass with ice.

2 oz vodka
1 oz coffee liqueur
milk (or cream if you are a capitalist)

Pour vodka and coffee liqueur over ice cubes in an old-fashioned glass. Fill with milk or light cream and serve.